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Marriage Must Have Love & Respect

Published by dangreer on August 16, 2013

There have been a lot of great marriage books written over the last twenty years. The Marriage Builder by Larry Crabb is probably the best based on how our individual needs for security and significance impact our relationship with our spouse.

Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is extremely good from the standpoint of giving a simple foundational framework for the major role that each partner needs to play in the marriage. Then the book gives lots of practical applications and illustrations on how to live this out in real world.

He writes that the husband should love his wife by:

Closeness—she wants you to be close
Openness—she wants you to open up to her
Understanding—don’t try to fix her; just listen
Peacemaking—she wants you to say, “I’m Sorry”
Loyalty—she needs to know you’re committed
Esteem—she wants you to honor and cherish her

The wife should respect her husband by:

Conquest—appreciate his desire to work and achieve
Hierarchy—appreciate his desire to protect and provide
Authority—appreciate his desire to serve and to lead
Insight—appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel
Relationship—appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship
Sexuality—appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy

One of the very helpful points that he continues to make throughout the book is just because our needs make us so different that does not make either of us wrong. When we assume the best about our spouse’s motives then we can give them the benefit of the doubt when they fall short of giving us what we want and need.

Categories: FaithMarriagePersonal Leadership

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“Dan led a workshop on “Reaching Your Potential” at our annual Utility Supply Management Alliance conference. Dan led the group through a very specific process on establishing specific goals, (personal, family and professional) and on how to develop a plan of execution and evaluation.

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